I still alive

I'm alive, just with some work. No news about my life.
But I've seen her again in a dream...

One step forward, two steps backwards

Today was a normal day. But after dinner, I received an IM from a pretty girl, and we started to chat. I was commenting as an anonymous coward some time her fotolog, and after some time we established contact (well, I said her in a mail who was the anonymous person on her flog). After a brief talk the same day, we didn't have a considerable chat. But today she talked to me, and I was happy. The conversation turned into why I felt attracted by her, what was attractive for me from her appearance. And after wasting words describing how much beautiful she is (after all, I know nothing is gonna happen), I told her about the graphic of my flog, and then she felt anger about that cause she misunderstood what I've said. Anyway, it was an awesome chat, but I did one step forward, and two backwards. Who cares.

Quick thought of the day

There are some humans who don't understand the magnificence and beauty of small things. Like seeing a group of children running through the forest towards you.

Life is a diamond, with as many faces as eyes watching it...

Life as a graph

Today I had the time to do something I wanted to do since some months... I drawn a graph with different curves, each one representing how some people (nine girls, in this case) changed my life in the last seven years. Those changes were not physical changes. Each of those girls made me think about how I drive my life. Everytime I'm wondering what's wrong with me, what is my fault? Nobody said me what's my fault, never. I tried asking, but they didn't seem to know what to say. One thing is sure, I'm not perfect, and I have so much to do with myself to be at least half-perfect. Every time I fail, I don't take it as a fall. It's a lesson. If I've been rejected or displaced, there is a reason for that. So the hard work is to search what has been wrong, find a solution, and turn a fall into experience. I'm full of experience!
The graph I did today was helpful to see at a glance what were I doing all this years.
I'm so happy to see I've finished with the trial period, and now I'm ready for the final encounter. When will it be? I don't know.
I must change the skin of the blog, maybe that's why I write these things here at SLIMD.
But I can't write many more things... I need some time if I want to write about technology, jokes and those normal blog-things... But at the same time, I'm happy with this. I believe this is what I want to talk about... Anyway there's nobody reading right now! (well, now you are reading)
I don't know what's going to happen.

Today I went to school to play with some old partners. After that I went to greet Maru, and then I quickly walked to a printing office to get a budget. This evening I did the graph you probably saw, and then I did some administrative tasks like checking mail, repairing websites, calling clients and eat pizza.

Destiny or destination?

Many people is trying to find out their course in life. Life is a walk... full of paths with one direction: forward. Instead of trying to find the right path, they may focus in one destination. Paths are useless if you're going nowhere... But if you know where you want to get, you'll find out your way with ease.
The ends justifies the means. I'm a bit scared about how my life is changing, what I'm doing, how I talk, my interests... However, I have decided my destination and I'm walking my way to reach it. Strange paths, but I know where I'll land.
Keep walking...

Life: The ultimate role playing simulator

There are lots of Role Playing Games (RPGs), but seems like nobody understands that Life is a RPG. A very complex one, with no 'undo' and no levels.
We must take care of many personal feelings and needs, all at the same time. We need to raise our well being, maybe working, but trying to keep enough spare time to live with our family, meet friends, or take a time for our selves.
For crying out loud, why nobody understands that?!
We work to live, but these times most of the people is living to work. How can I do all my work and have a time for myself? I'm passing through a hard part of my life, now is the moment where my face is crashed into the wall of reality. Come on, daddy is not superman! It's time to start moving on with my life and do what I want to do. But to do what I want, I need a bit of money. And to have a bit of money, I need to work. And here is where the problem surrounds me: I'm full of work, and I have not so much time to do it all, and I still need time for myself!
If I can't take time to write my blog, or to think before I get asleep, I can't concentrate on my work the next day...
Anyway, I'm tired of being writing thoughts and wailing about my life.
Since yesterday, I was working hard with a friend to finish a 3D model of a gallery. It's hard work, but the final result is worthy. I can't wait to see the final render!
And today I was having a large break playing Tower Defense, very very nice and addictive game!
Now I'm going to have a shower, and after that I'll go to Mario's house with Cata. Then, we'll head to a friend's house to have a party.
And guess what I'm going to do tomorrow? Work. I'll get into the 3D world again to finish that cursed work. Anyway, I'll get paid for it! Goodbye debts, hello normal-guy-life!
And I must start studying to finish high school as soon as possible...

Things I learn from the movies

Today I wasted time doing silly things, and thinking about the fact I'm alone in this [censored] world. I did an amazing 3D+Photoshop drawing at my fotolog inspired on my loneliness.
Beside of that, I saw a movie, Lady in the Water, which was an excellent movie. It made me think about something... The horror movies makes me feel a bit scarred after I watch them. But this kind of movies leaves on me a strange feeling, like a seed of success inside my soul. They make me think about the way I do things in my life, and what should I do... A weapon to face my problems. It's not a solution, only a tool.
When I saw The Butterfly Effect, I understood every thing we do changes the world in some way. And if you try to change the normal way things happen, it's worst.
I was in love with a girl... She's not worthy of my love (maybe she isn't worthy of any love, I don't know). I was near to give her a new opportunity... I was near to fall again... But one thing who saved me, was the end of the movie. I know it's kinda stupid to believe in movies, but sometimes there are really true facts in them. I'm sure I took the right decision. I'm not crying for her anymore (more stupid things I do).
What was the seed of the movie I watched today? I believe it's "don't try to find out your meaning in this life, just live it and you'll find it out. Because life will pass by while you're guessing, and you won't be anything".

Anyway. Too much thoughts and weird brain-logic. Tomorrow I'll have to work lots because I have so much work out of date. Bye bye.

Another normal day in my life

Today was a normal day. Nothing exceptional occured. I woke up at 12 AM o'clock, turned on my computer and waited till my mom finished cooking the lunch.
I spent all the evening working on the layout of a website for a client.
Now I'm drinking coffee with cream, and I'll see a movie (Date movie).
After the movie, probably I'll finish the first "release candidate" of the website I've been working on, and send it to the client to see if it's ok.
And finally, I'll go to sleep.
Just another normal day in my life.

My first post

Well, as any blog over there, I must start with the first post.
And, what's the most common question done by people who visits new and strange blogs? It's obvious: "what's this all about?"
So, for those who are wondering what the hell is She lives in my dreams, it's my personal blog, in English. And I will talk about things that happen to me, thoughts, and the normal things you can see at most of the blogs.
Why I selected that name for my blog? Because since some time, I've been living lonely, without someone to love. And I met a perfect girl. I love her, and she loves me. But the problem is, she lives in my dreams (yeah, you can say I'm a bit crazy about that, but who cares, world is full of crazy people).
Being serious, I think probably I'll find someone soon, and the title of my blog will become useless. However, this will be my place, even if I find love.
And maybe she'll continue visiting me on my dreams...
Thanks for stopping by, and I hope to see you coming back soon.